Boo to You
As a preschooler, after being sent up to bed by her babysitter, Courtney and her cousin drew monsters on the bed sheets and dressed up like ghosts to spook the sitter into letting them stay up so they could see Shaun Cassidy on late night TV. The plan actually worked in a way.
The same dynamic duo, clad in their homespun Flower Power Underoos, busted open a Fisher Price Pop-Pop Vacuum with a hammer and nail to get to the treasure trove of bubble gum inside. Disappointed more than Geraldo after opening Capone’s vault at finding only plastic orbs, they then turned their efforts to building instead. A house made with disposable razor heads and caulking seemed a logical choice.
Collect $200 and Go to Jail
One day while playing post office with two boys on the way home from kindergarten, she stole mail from all the neighbors on her street, committing a federal offense. Of course she returned it all…by force.
Embarrassed during her dad’s cowboy hat phase, in elementary school she made up stories for classmates of his ranch-hand adventures in Texas, even though he’s Canadian and has never ridden a horse.
Name’s the Game
She, her cousin and Grampa Jimmer came up with alternate names for every baseball team in the AL, like the Buyusmore Oreos, the Mini-Soda Twits, the Chick-Ago White Sux and the Det Roit Tiggers and a few in the NL like the Milkyway Brewskies and the Houston Astronauts.
Come and Play
During PBS telethons, back in the day when her hometown was so small you could dial friends with just four numbers, she would do callbacks on her home phone and pretend to be Sesame Street characters or Strawberry Shortcake, wanting to talk to her little sister.
At age thirteen, after ruining the cake she’d volunteered to bake for her aunt’s 29th birthday, she frosted and decorated the bottom of a Yatzee box as a joke. No one even knew that work of art was a box until her aunt had tried to cut into it. * Cooking tip of the day: Let a cake cooool first before flipping it out of the pan.
A Tale of One City
Inspired by a friend’s turtle knickknack, Myrtle, in a 1 AM creative burst, she and her best friend invented an entire town of Myrtle turtle characters and locations like Fredyrtle Yrtle and Wilma Yrtle, the Cinamyrtle Theater and Swampside Assembamyrtles of God Church.
Trick or Treat
In college, she got her hands on a blank parking ticket from campus security and tricked her roommate into believing she’d received a $150 fine for having under-pressurized tires and litter on and by her car.
Birthday Bliss II
Miss Bliss worked her evil schemes again for her friend Terrelle’s birthday by using gel food coloring for the lettering on her cake instead of gel icing, big difference, with the hopes of turning everyone’s mouths different colors, but the plan didn’t work. Foiled by the dilution power of frosting.